Never
by SiddaD
Summary: A mother's thoughts


Title: Never

Author: mysticmoon

Spoilers: None that I can think of...

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit from anything written herein.

NEVER

I'm sitting here, and all I can think of is, how I'll never get to see you grow up. I'll never stand at your wedding. I'll never get to watch you bring my grand-children home. I'll never see you save the earth again and again. There are so many things I wish I could do. But never is such a long time.

__

I'd fly across the hills and the valleys,

just to be by your side.

I'd fight a thousand wars in an instant,

if only to dry your eyes.

if maybe we had one more moment.

another second to say goodbye.

you know, it ain't never gonna happen,

but never's such a long time.

I remember the very first moment when we met. That split second when you opened your little blue eyes and stared right into mine. I've always loved you, ever since you were a speck of DNA, but you captured my heart that day. I counted all your fingers and toes, just to make sure. Then I counted them all over again. I'll never forget how warm you felt in my arms. But I'll never hold you again.

__

when you feel the wind blowing,

by your house one afternoon,

that's only me saying,

I miss you.

I'll always have the memories. Not just the birthdays, the holidays, and those special events, but the little things. When you and your brother used to crawl into our bed and we'd read the newspaper together. Those days when you'd help me make dinner, and we'd end up making a huge mess. And even those rare occasions when we'd produce something edible.

I've seen you mature into something beautiful. You followed the path less followed, took the harder route, made the risky decisions. You waltzed into the army, and I know you blew them away. I'm in awe of your strength, your ability, and your compassion. I'll always wonder whether you would turn out differently if I was still alive. But you've done damned well with your father. You made your mistakes and learned from them. If there was one thing I could say, I've always wished I could tell you how proud you make me.

__

when you feel the wind blowing,

by your house one afternoon,

that's only me saying,

I miss you.

I'll see you in heaven, my angel. For now, I want you to be happy with your life. I want a lot of things. Most of all, I want my beautiful, intelligent, kind, gentle daughter to stand tall and follow her heart. Don't be afraid, and take the plunge. You will build your wings on the way down, and one day, you'll soar.

__

I've got a thousand questions,

and another thousand replies

but you'll never hear a single one,

cause never's a long time.

Our time together on earth was short. Oh, my sweet Sam, I'll always be a part of you. One day, I'll see you again, but for now, I'll remain with you in spirit. When those times come when you need someone to guide you across the uneven land, I'll be there for you. But for now, it looks like you have someone to help you find your path....

*******

The lone figure stood in front of the grave, watching the cement marker. She was soon joined by another who wrapped his arms around her, his hand making gentle caresses against her cheek.

"I miss her, Jack."

"I know, Sam."

*******

__

when the rain comes pouring down,

that's me, crying tears.

I'll never get to see your blue eyes,

but never's a long time.

I watch him as he presses a kiss against your forehead. I know I shouldn't be here, watching you. But once a year, I give myself this chance to give you strength in your weakest hour. We share our memories here. We don't need words, our thoughts are enough. But it looks like you have found someone to take your strength from.

__

if maybe we had one more moment.

another second to say goodbye.

you know, it ain't never gonna happen,

but never's such a long time.

Somehow, I know that it's time. I knew that this would come one day, I just never believed it. I've always wanted what's best for you, even if I couldn't offer it to you. I watch him and I know, this is what's best for you. It's never easy to let go of your children. But one must. And I shall.

But I'll always watch over you.

__

but never's such a long time.

*******

__


End file.
